Turtle: I thought he quit?
Johnny Drama: Cigarettes, not pussy.
Eric: We had breakup-sex, all right?
Johnny Drama: Breakup-sex? Never heard of it.
Eric: Yeah, I mean… you know… you have sex and… that’s it - you say goodbye.
Johnny Drama: [pauses to think] That’s the only kinda sex I have.
Johnny Drama: His tears will basically act as the lubricant.
[the guys look out towards the Pacific Ocean]
Turtle: What direction is that?
Johnny Drama: That’s east, you idiot.
Eric: It’s west, idiot.
Johnny Drama: [long pause among the guys] Well, I mean, in New York it’s east.
Johnny Drama: If you play gay or retarded you get an Oscar. I’d take it in the ass for an Oscar.
Turtle: You’d take in the ass for a guest spot on The Hughleys.
Drama: I’ve been working steady for the past twelve years, minus the last three.
Drama: Turtle, if you can’t get laid here, turn your dick in.
Drama: Nobody appreciates their girlfriend. Until they get herpes from the next broad. Know what I’m saying?
Drama: According to some circles, that Barbie might be a Ken… She might have balls, Your Honor…. She’s a HE, a Transformer, a hermaphrodite; something that just ain’t right.
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